Well I’ve taken back to posting here daily because I never manage to get around to writing it down for DBT journal/diary cards.
So starting with yesterday –
took a Xanax in the morning before group. Seemed like a great idea. I was apprehensive because I hadn’t done my journaling, nor did i pick up my homework and I didn’t want to get nagged at – all worked out alright.
Avoidance -high’ish’ but didn’t give in.
Work was successful. Used my Wise mind to just get through it “It’s okay if people hang up on you, don’t stress over it. It’s not ABOUT you” — Also used non-judgemental when I started picking myself apart for being a lousy Interviewer. I felt like I had an effective night at work.
Worried about getting everything ready for the weekend – worry was probably a 3 but talked myself down with observing my physical response to the stress and using non judgement to stop the judging and wisemind to differentiate the fact from fiction . Fiction ‘There’s a million things to get done before we go, can’t get it all done. Reality ‘there’s not that much to do. I Have the same worries anytime someone is going to be at my house (grandparents staying with the kids for the night) but it always works out fine.
Overall the day was a five.
Now for today – Avoidance was high-ish, worry was rather prevalent, but I still made it to my daughter’s to tidy up a bit for her, figured out dinner for the kids tonight and all the other work prep (wisemind — it’s really not that big a deal. Just breathe and relax) observed and noticed the rising anxiety , described it.
Work was effective. Got 9 calls done in 4 hours, skipped break and just finished at 8. started to lose my temper after work with my 6 year old, he was being ridiculous (yeah, IKR? How odd for a 6 yr old to be ridiculous.. haha. anyhooo) but recognized my irritation and observed it, then described it to myself.
Had some moments of self loathing – my failure to do the workouts etc. But I let it go (non judgement) and loved myself instead. 5