Woke up very groggy and crabby. Had very little sleep because my youngest was up coughing all night. He has a quick gag reflex so it took very little for him to throw up when he’d cough.

Went to work at about 4. The priest invited me for a tea first, so and the Deacon and i had tea and chatted awhile. It kind of perked me up and took me out of my cruddy mood. We were talking about the various bible sources in regards to the Old Testament and how so many people still think the bible was written right back when an actual Adam and Eve were in the Garden. Also discussed Babylonian myth a bit and how the biblical stories were descendants of those but that people don’t want to examine that. To me it feels sad that people cling so tightly to stories, as though that is the only form in which their relationship with God exists. For me it wasn’t until everything I thought became destroyed. All my preconceived ideas of everything turned to dust. THEN was there a space empty. And then was there a space for the true seed of a relationship to be placed. To grow and emerge amongst the barrenness.

Fr.Joe drove me home, the Deacon’s dog is staying with him because the Deacon and her hubby have parted ways. Where she lives she can’t have a dog, but she has ‘custody’ part time and she is very close to Fr.Joe and his wife. Spends much time with them (lives on the same street), so her custody involves keeping ‘Heidi’ at Fr.Joe’s at night and with her at the church hall all day while she works.  So Heidi came on the ride home when Fr.Joe drove me. She was soooo good. Just sat between us. Listened. Was calm, I wish my insane dog was so calm, but then again Heidi is already 8 and my dog is only 11 months. Still!!! it would be nice.

The rest of the evening is kind of a blur, didnt do much. Played on the computer a bit more than I should I guess. But i was feeling crabby and the kids bickering and squealing and playing was just so loud it seemed. Nerves are taught. Husband says the same. I wonder why?

Still yelled more than I needed to, but kept up with chores, didn’t slack too much.

4— used my skills , they distracted me but didnt work— the kids being loud and fighting and instead of operating from a wise mind, I ended up yelling at them because they were getting out of control. and

5— used skills and was successful using them (being engaged with the family, not getting all bent out of shape trying to get to work. Used mindfulness:trying to respond out of a wise mind space, and non judgement:       )


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